Dream; Fifth Twilight book

Last night, I dreamed I was reading the fifth Twilight book by Stephenie Meyer. Had a character named Callen or Galen or... something. He was basically my Edward. And there were some adventures. And of course I was alternately reading the story, and actually in the story. I was alternately Bella, and someone separate, a friend of hers. And the Calen guy was alternately Edward and at the same time my own separate love. I don't remember the entire dream or story... I remember beautiful scenery of green mountains and hills and trees and... but I remember the feeling quite strongly.

There was this adventure. But we were invincible. We couldn't die, we couldn't be hurt. And it would never end, as we'd live on forever. The feeling? ...it was awful. It was a bored feeling.... 'ok, sure we can go on living these adventures... but nothing is at stake. nothing is a risk. there is no reason to care if we succeed or fail because we will just keep on living invincibly'. It was this hopeless endless incredibly bored feeling. I will admit, I woke up incredibly calm this morning. I opened my eyes still halfway taken by the dream, still feeling like it didn't matter if I woke up or stayed in bed, went to work or stayed home and got fired. Nothing mattered. I didn't need to eat. I didn't need to work. I didn't need shelter or a home. My body was invincible. In a hundred years anything I worked for at this point in time would have rotted or rusted away, people I fought for would have died anyway, and I'd still be exactly the same. No family, no children, no death, no fear. Nothing. I woke up feeling like, "Well, I'll get up and go to work today. Why not? Sleeping in is as pointless as getting up. Who cares?"

It was a really weird feeling. Sure. The entire world was open to me. Adventures of every sort were available. And there was nothing to fear. But there was absolutely totally completely no point to any of it, simply because there were no risks, fears, deaths, change. Nothing mattered. And I felt bored and almost wanted to die. I knew I would wish that I could kill myself within a mere couple weeks. I still felt like dying as my eyes opened. And then I realized it was all just the dream. I had to go to work, or I would get fired, and then be unable to pay for rent and food, and then freeze and starve, and then die, and then never work for anything or have any family. And... it seemed exciting. I was happy to go to work today.

I have to say though.... the characters in twilight lost a lot of credibility to me... it's possible for them to die in those books, albeit difficult. I'm surprised ANY of them haven't done that yet.... how could they not? I don't buy it anymore. And Bella.... I had my love in my dream. And let me tell you..... it did NOT make me want to live forever. It wasn't enough of a reason to me. It helped alleviate the pointlessness... but not enough.